Faith
I jumped in a taxi and the Cabbie said: how's your day been? I told him that I was having an amazing day, one thing after another was going well. I heard the surprise in my voice - he did as well. He said: don't sound so surprised, you gotta have faith. It stuck with me. I realise how often I expect things to be hard. There was a time (not that long ago) when everything was. But, now its time to let go.
I decided to focus on having faith for a month. I wanted to question whether I was valuing myself. I wanted to question what I take into interactions. I wanted to question what I believe the universe will provide. By faith, I don't mean in the religious sense - I mean belief in myself.
I decided to focus on having faith for a month. I wanted to question whether I was valuing myself. I wanted to question what I take into interactions. I wanted to question what I believe the universe will provide. By faith, I don't mean in the religious sense - I mean belief in myself.
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Lessons from 'having faith'
This cluster taught me something about believing in myself. I noticed that when I believe in myself I transform my experience, my relationships. I negotiate differently. I am more assertive. I am more aware of my worth. These tickets were hard won. I worked hard and at times what I was doing felt so counter intuitive. I felt vulnerable. It felt easier to be small. These tickets describe actions that felt counter intuitive. I was taking up space in the world. How DARE I? I was waiting for a bolt of lightening, to be struck down, put back in my place. Or at least - someone's approval that it is okay to stand tall. That it is okay to have faith in myself.
I keep coming back to Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech (by Marianne Williamson): our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world ... Believing in myself is not always easy, but it is definitely taking care.
I keep coming back to Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech (by Marianne Williamson): our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world ... Believing in myself is not always easy, but it is definitely taking care.