Finding your strength
As wonderful as life is, sometimes stuff happens that is incredibly hard. There have been many times when I've wanted my circumstances or other people's behaviour to change - so that my life would be easier than it was. I used to feel so daunted and overwhelmed. I didn't think I was strong enough to cope with what was happening. But I was. I learned to work through stuff. I learned to rescue myself. What I discovered along the way was that I had more strength than I gave myself credit for. In circumstances so overwhelming, where I hardly knew where to start, I shifted things by doing one very small, very simple thing to take care of myself. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another.
What I wanted was a 'magic wand', what I got was an understanding that I could change my world - one ticket at a time. Sometimes all I did was make myself a cup of tea. Sometimes it was positive self talk. Sometimes it was a walk on the beach. None of these actions 'fixed' my problems, but collectively they transformed my experience. Through the process of ticketing I have relearned how to take care of myself. I am discovering my strength. So many of us don't feel strong enough or good enough or clever enough or loved enough or thin enough or beautiful enough .... So many of us are great at taking care of others, and not so good at taking care of ourselves. Ticketing is a framework for taking care of yourself, for discovering your strengths. It's not a quick fix, but these are skills you can build for life. I believe that most of us have strength that we don't know we have, I invite you to discover yours by becoming a ticketer.
What I wanted was a 'magic wand', what I got was an understanding that I could change my world - one ticket at a time. Sometimes all I did was make myself a cup of tea. Sometimes it was positive self talk. Sometimes it was a walk on the beach. None of these actions 'fixed' my problems, but collectively they transformed my experience. Through the process of ticketing I have relearned how to take care of myself. I am discovering my strength. So many of us don't feel strong enough or good enough or clever enough or loved enough or thin enough or beautiful enough .... So many of us are great at taking care of others, and not so good at taking care of ourselves. Ticketing is a framework for taking care of yourself, for discovering your strengths. It's not a quick fix, but these are skills you can build for life. I believe that most of us have strength that we don't know we have, I invite you to discover yours by becoming a ticketer.
The benefits of regular ticketing - becoming a ticketer
Ticketing is based on principles of behaviour change pioneered by Ivan Pavlov, a Russian physiologist. Pavlov was famous for researching 'conditioned reflex' - or making his dogs salivate when he rang a bell. Pavlov would ring the bell each time he gave his dogs food and the dogs would salivate when they saw the food. Over time the dogs would salivate when they heard the bell - even if there wasn't food. The dogs learned to associate the bell with food. This principle forms the basis of 'behaviourism', a way of helping people to work out how to change their behaviour by association/by linking it to something else. This principle forms the basis of ticketing. Tickets that are commonly encountered e.g.: bus tickets, train tickets, parking tickets, or shopping tickets can be used to record each time you do something to take care of yourself. Then, each time you see a ticket you are reminded to ask yourself: what have I done to take care of myself today? Underpining this is the belief that taking care of yourself is a very good thing to do.
This principle worked for me. I wrote a number of tickets on the back of security cards (the ones that security companies put in a building door to show that they have done a security check - picture above). Over a two year period I noticed that each time I saw a ticket in a door I asked myself: what have I done to take care of myself today? Classic dog-bell-saliva!! Seeing a ticket is now a reminder to check that I am taking care of myself.
This principle worked for me. I wrote a number of tickets on the back of security cards (the ones that security companies put in a building door to show that they have done a security check - picture above). Over a two year period I noticed that each time I saw a ticket in a door I asked myself: what have I done to take care of myself today? Classic dog-bell-saliva!! Seeing a ticket is now a reminder to check that I am taking care of myself.
Consciousness and habit
To become a ticketer (to think more about what you do to take care of yourself) I suggest that you use tickets you come across on a regular basis - like shopping receipts or transport tickets. Write on a ticket each time you do something to take care of yourself. Don't forget to stop and admire your tickets and pat yourself on the back for taking care of yourself. If you associate the tickets with taking care of yourself, and see this as a good thing, over time you may find that whenever you see a ticket you are reminded of the good work you are doing to take care of yourself. All this is based on the premise that looking after yourself is a good thing (even that the world would be a better place if we all took care of ourselves). In the words of Michael Jackson: If you want to make the world a better place, you got to look at yourself and make a change.
Becoming a regular ticketer can make you more aware of what you do to take care of yourself, it can also help you to shift things when you are not taking care of yourself. For some of us, the cycle of 'taking care - not taking care' is unconscious. Sometimes, we find ourselves stuck in a space where things are not going well and we loose sight of the importance of taking control and taking care. Being mindful here can help us to remember to take care of ourselves and turn difficult situations around (or at least help us to ride them out).
Becoming a regular ticketer can make you more aware of what you do to take care of yourself, it can also help you to shift things when you are not taking care of yourself. For some of us, the cycle of 'taking care - not taking care' is unconscious. Sometimes, we find ourselves stuck in a space where things are not going well and we loose sight of the importance of taking control and taking care. Being mindful here can help us to remember to take care of ourselves and turn difficult situations around (or at least help us to ride them out).
Ticketing v/s a one off ticket
There is a difference between strategies described on a one off ticket about taking care of yourself - and the practice of regular ticketing. A one off ticket might include a summary statement about what you generally do to take care e.g.: I exercise regularly. On the other hand, ticketing (making tickets regularly) reveals more detail, more diversity in activities and opportunities to get better at it. This is part of the joy of ticketing, you can discover things that may not be on your list of usual strategies. The practice of regular ticketing is also important to help establish or restablish patterns of taking care.